Thursday, September 06, 2007

Under the Cover of Greatness

So I am sitting hear listening to Electric Six's cover of Queen's "Radio Ga Ga", and it got me thinking... what are the worst cover's you have ever heard? I know I could name a hundred bad ones for every good one I have ever heard, but which ones are the worst? Which covers are so bad that it makes fingernails on a chalkboard sound pretty damn good? So here is my list of the five worst cover songs, and the bands that raped and perverted them:

1. Rod Stewart - "Downtown Train"
Why Stewart felt the need to rape this classic Tom Waits song with his whiskey soaked male tart voice is beyond me, but this is a good example as to why there should be a law against horrible covers. This one even made's list.

2. Madonna - "American Pie"
Before Madonna turned British she used to make good music (I guess). But she forgot the golden rule; if it is a classic one-hit wonder, don't do a cover of it. No one will ever lover your version more than the original. This rule is void if the song is a one-hit wonder that is not considered a classic.

3. Dolly Parton - "Stairway To Heaven"
Just...why? Why would she do this to us? I don't care what CrazyTunes says, this is just wrong.

4. Limp Bizkit - "Behind Blue Eyes"
No one knows what it's like to be the sad man... that has to listen to this song. Take a horrible song and mix it with a horrible band and you get crap. Two wrongs do not in fact make a right.

5. Korn - "Another Brick In The Wall"
You do not attempt a cover of a Pink Floyd song. You just don't do it. You are not Pink Floyd, don't try to be (unless you are Les Claypool). This one ties with Fred Durts's butchering of "Wish You Were Here", even if it was for a good cause.

So there you have it, my list of the top 5 worst cover songs. Tomorrow, a list of the top 5 best cover songs. Until then, go listen to the originals of these five songs and show them some love.

with your back against the wall, how do you ruin all these promises

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1 comment:

Jester said...

I have to point out firstly that Don McLean was not a "one hit wonder." He had another song from the American Pie album that is quite famous, "Vincent." Most people know it as the "Starry Starry Night" song. He also did a cover of Roy Orbison's "Crying" that charted pretty high.

Doesn't change the fact that Madonna should never have gone near that song.

I have actually heard one cover of a Pink Floyd song that was fantastic: The Scissor Sisters did a cool cover of "Comfortably Numb."