Thursday, August 30, 2007

Level The Playing Field

For all you sexual predators out there depressed about the turnout ratio of your current MySpace sexual prey hunt, fret no longer. Why chase the tweens when they can come to you! That's right, MySpace is hittin' the road on tour with a plethora (ok, like, 3) of bands that are guaranteed to bring out all the hip and naive youngsters, white belts and all. Starting in October, the MySpace tour will include hellogoodbye along with other bands that only a teenager could give a rat's ass about. So all you teens, grab your make up and pepper spray, cuz' the tour will be hitting a town near you soon.

have you ever felt the weight inside you pulling away inside your skin, and then something had to give

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Monday, August 27, 2007


For those of you still drooling over the thought of a My Bloody Valentine reunion (myself included), our hopes and dreams may be one step closer to a reality (or one step closer to realizing our dreams are the stuff of pipes). According to a "reliable course" (read: gossip) Kevin Shields has been talking about two new discs being released soon, one of which is full of new material. However, as with The Replacements, Black Flag, Husker Du, Jawbreaker, and Pavement, this may all just be someone's hopes being projected as fact. Much like the author of this article, I will believe it when I see it. Until then, we can take comfort in the fact that as of right now, none of the members are dead, so it still may be plausible. Here's to hoping.

tiptoe down, to the lonely places, where you going now, don't turn around

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Sunday, August 26, 2007

Kill Your Scene

Punk shows are always unpredictable. You never know if you are going to see the greatest display of built up angst projected through music, or the worst 3 hours of noise you have ever experienced. Saturday was a bit of both. Strung Out puts on a very good show, but their fans are very dedicated, and that is not always a good thing. There is nothing worse than a bunch of shirtless muscle-bound tattooed ex-jocks with nothing in their system but anger and liquor punching people in the head and throwing girls to the ground to show that they are "hardcore". Don't get me wrong, I love going to punk shows, and I had a great time at the Strung Out show, but sometimes I like to enjoy the show without wondering who is going to cold clock me in the back of the head because that's how they spell relief. I guess I just don't understand the point to mindless violence. Anyway, Strung Out puts on a great show and if you get the chance check them out.

when I see you on the other side I will not be the same as I was when I was yours

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007


List of possible reasons B has not written a post in the past week:

1 - Kidnapped by aliens.
2 - Kidnapped by sexy aliens.
3 - Fell in a well, Lassie wasn't around.
4 - Swallowed by Oprah's gigantic thighs while looking for remote control.
5 - Ate a rock, thought it was a cookie. Been in bathroom ever since.
6 - Still leading double life as superhero Paperclip Man. Has yet to find The Stapler.
8 - Ate number 7, got sick, died, reincarnated as a walrus.
9 - Saw Courtney Love naked, went blind, and stepped on landmine in the mall (who knew).
10 - Was beaten, raped, and murdered (not necessarily in that order) by angry mob of Harry Potter fans.

are you fucking happy now?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Color Me Impressed

Harry Potter fans piss me off. You people really do. I am so God damn sick of hearing about how amazing these books are. It's a kid and his magic wand, I fucking get it, I just don't care. Every single person I know has either read these books or seen the movies, and I have done neither. Call it ignorance or whatever, I don't give a shit. I have no interest in Harry Potter, and all of your badgering and pestering and sorcery won't change my mind. Go ahead and dress up like a 12 year old boy and stand outside of the movie theatre for 8 hours in the blistering heat, I need practice with my paintball gun anyway. But you want to know what really boils my blood? All you morons who only read Harry Potter. Every time someone tells me some bullshit line like "I don't read much, but I have read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of the Golden Vagina of Kinda-Sorta Dangerous Hallows like seven million times and oh my God it was just so good!", all I hear in my mind is "I am the smartest idiot in my wizard-theme circle jerk support group". Get bent, all that means is that you're a moron who likes to feel smart by saying you read a 700 page kids book. I heard this is the last (fingers crossed) book, and you know what, I hope Harry Potter fucking dies... in a fire.

givin' out their word cuz that's all they won't keep

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Monday, August 13, 2007

I Hate Rap

So 50 Cent (Fitty to the cool kids) is threatening to retire if Kanye West sells more records than Fitty, seeing as how both their records are slated to be released on the same day. Well I like it, it's not the best we could do, but it's a damn good start. Can we do better? I think we can. What I would like to have seen (Kanye? Fitty? You taking notes?) is a deal where both rappers (sorry, "artists") retire. Let's spitball here and see what we can come up with. How about we take the number of records each one sells and award one bullet for every ten thousand units. Then, after the first week sales are tallied, we hand out the bullets and let them hunt each other down in a rundown old factory, kind of like The Running Man, only with rappers. Too cliche? No problem, let's get together for lunch and over a meal of bitches and ho's and crack cocaine we can work this thing out. I'll have my people call your people, get in touch with Fitty and Kanye, and see if we can't turn this media nugget into a bona fide feast.

Take a breath and softly say goodbye

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Friday, August 10, 2007

Gimme Indie Rock

It's never an easy task to find some good music to listen to. There's some decent music out there, I freely admit that. But good music is something else. So in light of the fact that I am bored and really have nothing else to talk about and I am waiting for my tea to brew, I would like to suggest a few new/recently new/soon to be released records that you might enjoy. So in the words of Chuck Klosterman, let's rock shit up bitch!

The New Pornographers - Challengers (Aug. 21st)
The New Pornographers are one of those bands that release consistently good records, and their new record Challengers is no exception. Check out their MySpace page and give the album a listen (the whole record is available to stream as of this post) and if you like what you hear, pick it up on the 21st. Then work your way backwards through their other 3 albums, and you shouldn't be disappointed. Besides, they have what may be the hottest redhead in rock today (Neko Case), so they get bonus points for that.

Editors - An End Has A Start (out now)
Hailing from Birmingham, England, Editors are currently the hottest new indie band to break from the U.K.. For fans of U2, Joy Division, and Echo and the Bunnymen, Editors may be just what you are looking for. Check them out here.

Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (out now)
Pitchfork darlings Spoon have released the follow up to 2005's Gimme Fiction, and this record seems to pick up right where Gimme Fiction left off. For fans of indie rock and Scrubs alike, you can't go wrong with Spoon, and Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga confirms it. Check them out here.

there's a devil at your side, but an angel on her way

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Marker In The Sand

Where do you draw the line on censorship? Does a phone company have the right to censor something that even the FCC would consider a breach on freedom of speech? The internet, which is not monitored by the FCC (yet) is truly the last safe haven for the first amendment. So when Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder changed some of the lyrics of their song "Daughter" to make an anti-Bush statement at Lollapalooza, why was that portion of the song censored by AT&T? For those who have not heard about it, here are the lyrics that were censored, as stated on the band's website;

During the performance of "Daughter" the following lyrics were sung to the tune of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" but were cut from the webcast:

- "George Bush, leave this world alone." (the second time it was sung); and

- "George Bush find yourself another home."

The website also goes on to state the disapproval of the band, much to no one's surprise at all. You can read the article and see the actual clip here. Now I know how most people are going to react, and they can generally be sliced into two groups; the first group, who say that slandering Bush and the administration helps terrorism somehow, although they can never explain how, and the second group, who just don't care. To the first group, I pose this question; have you heard of the American Revolution, and if so, why did it happen? To the second group, I pose this statement; you somehow manage to piss me off more than the first group. I can understand the first group's stance; they're ignorant and possibly stupid and would follow their leaders into hell blindly without so much as stopping to ask themselves why they were doing it. But to not see this as just another cog in the censor machine makes me sick. How much of our personal freedom has to be stripped away from you before you open your eyes? We have people being called traitors simply because they want nothing more than what is guaranteed to them by the Constitution. You know, the document that all those old guys wrote way back when, the one that grants you the right to worship who you choose to worship, and say what you want to say and all that good stuff we used to have. I know it's hard to actually read the damn thing, especially with all the words bleeding through after how much the current administration has pissed on it, but it is there for a reason. And if you think that something so small and trivial could not matter in the larger scope of things, think about this; the American Revolution was started over some fucking tea.

there is a sickness, a sickness coming over me, like watching freedom being sucked straight out to sea

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Layla and Other Assorted Homewreckers

As if to remind us all that "hey, you know those two guys wrote songs about me right?", Pattie Boyd has finally decided to talk about what everybody already knew about and probably stopped caring about long before she pretended nobody knew about it. Nothing screams "I don't matter" like screaming "I still matter". Being Pattie Boyd is kind of like being Marianne Faithfull for music geeks, which is kind of like being the one guy on Star Trek that wears the red shirt and always dies, which is kind of like being completely useless but remembered for it. Forget the stories you read everyday about some dumb ho who wrecked some already-in-shambles-anyway marriage between two star-crossed kinda-sorta lovers who met on the set of the new action flick and divorced before its release. Pattie Boyd did it with style, grace, and possibly your best friend. It's not an easy feat to inspire two of rock's greatest songs, much less be remembered for it and... pretty much nothing else. We are constantly bombarded with stories of infidelity with some no-name actress, nanny, or hooker, but when was the last time we had a good old fashioned homewrecker like Pattie Boyd? The answer is that we haven't. So go ahead and air out your dirty laundry Pattie, we won't hold it against you. God knows it's better than whatever the hell Britney has been doing lately.

what'll you do when you get lonely, and nobody's waiting by your side

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Friday, August 03, 2007

The Spirit Of Radio

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to doing, you know, his job, president Bush has no problem taking 6 weeks off? But when it comes to continuing his eavesdropping scheme, Congress cannot leave for recess until the "Democrats" put forth a bill he will sign. Maybe the "Democrats" aren't pushing a bill because they see how wrong it is to tap every phone line in America. I am curious, and please feel free to answer these questions; what has Bush done the past 6 years in regards to Social Security? How about health care? Nothing. How about education? Well, he did take money away from it to keep the war going, so I guess that's doing something. His entire line of supporters is going down in flames of scandal, and all he can think about is convincing the dwindling demographic of war supporters that he needs more money for the war. Ok Bush, here's your chance; find the $12 billion dollars that asshole J. Paul Bremer "lost" in Iraq. It shouldn't be too hard to find. The money was stacked on pallets, in denominations of $100, and weighs about 363 tons. That's like losing the Statue of Liberty in the middle of fucking Arizona. Bremer should have been shot in the fucking head for being that fucking dumb.

Anyway, I have seen a few shows in the past week. I saw Dream Theater (interesting), Rise Against (good), and Rush (awesome). I am not a Rush fan, but they put on a great live show, and "The Spirit of Radio" was awesome live. I would write more but my fingers shake with generic-molten rage at the thought of some inbred Mid-Western douche bag smiling as he pushes the Bush button on the morally-questionable voting machine. I honestly believe that Bush won because the majority of the country can't read words with more than four letters and they were probably thinking of a totally different kind of Dick & Bush. Maybe a comedy duo?

this is the price you pay for loss of control

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