Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Fuck Tha Police

The Police are reuniting. I really didn’t need a reason to hate the Police, but I’m glad I got one. I can’t imagine anything I could care less about than the reunion of a band I never liked (who hate each other, by the way) that recorded one of the world’s worst songs ever (“Roxanne”, for those who are still confused). I really want to say something snappy and clever, maybe even witty, but honestly I am just too choked up on tears of sorrow and pain.

Did I mention I am not a Police fan?

The kids who used to live for beer and speed now want their fries and coke.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Punk In Drublic

The first time I saw NOFX I was 15. Last night, I was 26. I’m positive that I don’t have to mention how old I felt. The fact that Fat Mike is now in his 40’s however did give me a little comfort. Punk rock may get old, but it never dies, and it’s hard to find a better punk rock show than NOFX. Last night was no exception.

Starting off with the 18 minute “The Decline”, NOFX played a full 90 minutes. Not only is that incredibly long by punk standards, but it measures up to some larger acts whose shows could have been a bit longer (Primus, you listening?). Blasting thru a set of mostly classic NOFX tunes, the band proved they are not just a novelty act for those hoping to catch one of the last remaining punk bands before they die. I wouldn’t go so far as to call NOFX the Rolling Stones of punk, but I’d give them The Who or Metallica any day.

For those who are not aware of NOFX, check out this poorly constructed link for a little info. Here is a far more entertaining link just in case Wikipedia doesn’t do it for you. If you get the chance to see them, do it. And if you need a good starting off point, start with their best record, Punk In Drublic, and work your way backwards. Then, if you like what you hear, go forward from that point on.

Possessions never meant anything to me

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Mass Romantic

In what can only be seen as a continuingly growing sense of doubt regarding the war in Iraq, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted against Bush’s proposed troop level increase. Unfortunately, that is not going to stop Bush from sending more troops anyway, as he has already indicated his plans to ignore the non-binding resolution. You can get more information here, if you feel the need to be even more disappointed in the president.

Also, I found this pretty interesting. I had never known these existed until today, but here is a little more info on these sharks.

Mass romantic fool, separated by sheets when the curtain calls you

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Flirtin' With Disaster

I am losing my mind. With every thought comes a wave of anxiety and doubt. My brain is turning into scrambled eggs and I can’t stop it. The only question really is whether or not I am going to use my insanity to annoy and harass my friends and loved ones. Obviously the answer is yes, but its fun to pretend I wouldn’t. I can almost feel my brain trying to escape its candy-coated shell of a prison to wonder the world and visit all the magical places it only reads about in books. Apparently it really wants to see Greenland, I don’t know why. My brain now resembles a breakfast special at Denny’s, and all I can think about is crepes.

Apparently Rage Against the Machine is going to reunite for the Coachella festival. And here I thought that was just a rumor. They haven’t officially announced the list of artists scheduled to play over the 3 day event, but you can view a list here. Again, it hasn’t been released yet so this could change.

Anybody watch the State of the Union address tonight? Were you as depressed as I was? It’s sad the way it almost seems like he is pitifully begging people to support him, like a child begging for another piece of cake.

Anyway, stay sexy world, I’m gonna go get my crepes-age on.

I’m not satisfied with where I’m at in life

Monday, January 22, 2007

Hate Paper Doll

This dude is badass. If some of you are still wondering how the Democrats took back the House and Senate, Rahm Emanuel is the reason. To quote Rolling Stone contributor Joshua Green:

“…the night after Clinton was elected, Emanuel was so angry at the president’s enemies that he stood up at a celebratory dinner with colleagues from the campaign, grabbed a steak knife and began rattling off a list of betrayers, shouting “Dead!...Dead!...Dead!” and plunging the knife into the table after every name.”

Check here for the rest of the article the above quote is mentioned in.

Also, check out this little ditty regarding this years Coachella festival. I would love to see Minor Threat live, but I honestly think this is nothing more than a pipe dream. But if it is true, where the hell are Husker Du, the Replacements, Pavement, and Black Flag?

Sell yourself short, but your walking so tall

Friday, January 19, 2007

Papa Bear

It would appear that this week I am, to out it crudely, “getting’ all political on your ass”, so I figure I will end this week with one more reference to a writer whose work I constantly enjoy reading. Tim Dickinson is a political writer for Rolling Stone, and I have mentioned him hear in the past. His latest article can be found here. He has a segment on Rolling Stone’s website titled National Affairs Daily, and I suggest everybody check it out. Of all the news sources I read, Rolling Stone is always the one I enjoy the most, and Matt Taibbi and Tim Dickinson are the reasons why.

I promise next week I will reform back to my old ways by bombarded you with news about music and all the weird shit that happens to me on a daily basis. Until then, go get some education by clicking the above links. And if you get a chance, check out The Colbert Report on Comedy Central tonight, the rerun airs at 8 pm PST, and Bill “Papa Bear” O’Reilly will be on there. I like Bill O’Reilly, only for the fact that when it comes to The Colbert Report, he seems to be the only one who doesn’t get the joke, and I find that amusing.

Stick ‘em up punk, it’s the fun lovin’ criminal

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Spanking The Donkey

I have in the past referred to a journalist whom I hold in high regard, and am going to do so today. Matt Taibbi is a Rolling Stone contributor known for his political articles as well as his Road Rage segment. He is an amazingly entertaining and funny writer, and he has a book out that I would like to plug. Spanking The Donkey, an immensely appropriate title, documents his writings surrounding the 2004 elections. You can check it out here, and I recommend this book for anybody who has even the slightest interest in political journalism.

Cross me of your list

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Brave New World

It’s hard to learn things about yourself when you assume you already know everything. We assume in life that we are rarely offered the opportunity to discover something about ourselves that we did not already know, even if we only knew it at a subconscious level. And when that opportunity presents itself, we usually ignore it. Unless you’re coming out of the closet or finding God of course, then it’s kind of hard to ignore. But previous exceptions aside, we generally assume we know all there is to know about us. The problem is that, to quote Chuck Klosterman, everybody is wrong about everything just about all the time. And people call me a cynic.

Today however I learned something about myself that I did not previously know; I hate technology. Oh I use it, of course. I have no choice but to use technology at any given moment that it is available to me. The problem is that I can’t stand it. I hate computers, but here I am typing on one. I hate cellular phones, but if I were to lose mine, I would be left wondering the earth in a constant state of confusion and fear. I hate cars, but I also hate walking, so I guess they kind of cancel each other out. C’est la vie.

It’s not my appreciation for vinyl records or my love of paper books over a computer monitor that feeds my disdain for this Brave New World. It is my reluctance to rely on technology that makes me hate it. We rely on technology so much that we stand impatiently in line waiting for that text message reply, when we could easily have called them on the phone. Hell, thirty years ago people wrote letters to other people using the magical force of the postal service. For the kids out there, when I say “letter” I do not mean the characters you type next to punctuation symbols to create those emoticons you love so much. I am referring to a letter, like a pen-pal (remember those?).

Relying on technology has not only shortened our attention span, but made us far less patient. It has also made us lazy. Think about it for a second. The mother of invention is necessity. Necessity is driven by the desire to do something more efficient, i.e. faster, better, cheaper and whatnot. Corporations spend billions of dollars on years of research to make a product that will make shit easier for me. And we pay for it with a smile. We would rather spend hundreds of dollars on household products that make our job easier than spend the time doing it ourselves. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

We, as a society, have a constant desire to be reachable by anyone at any time. We spend money for the privilege of talking to people we don’t need to talk to about shit nobody cares about. And to make matters worse, everybody else in the goddamn vicinity of us has to hear our conversations about some drunken agro whore we slept with last week or our prediction of who is going to win the Superbowl. Next time you’re on the phone, take a quick poll of the people around you to find out how many of them give a shit about your opinion. Not to mention how much they probably hate your stupid fucking 50 Cent ring tone even though you’re white, can’t dance, shop at the Gap, and sell car insurance.

God dammit I hate technology.

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Shit You Should Listen To! #2

Hello folks, its B here with your semi-annual 112th anniversary edition of Shit You Should Listen To! Today we have a tasty menu of treats to tingle your musical taste buds and delight your most delicate sensual receptors. For those of you who are new to this festival of music, here is how it works. I give you a list of shit you should be listening to, and you go out and buy, borrow, burn, rip, steal, or download it. This edition is dedicated to American Hardcore, and boy do we have some great acts for your listening pleasure. Here they are, in no particular order:

Black Flag – Damaged
Pissing off parents and Joe Lieberman since 1976, Black Flag did their most damage to society’s youth with their appropriately titled album Damaged. Containing what I believe to be the best of Black Flag, this record speeds thru anger and frustration like James Dean in a Porsche doin’ 120 in the Hollywood hills while high on coke. “Rise Above” and “Six Pack” are among their best tunes, but it’s the almost cute sing along of “TV Party” that adds that special sauce to the assault-and-battery flavor. Plus, Henry Rollins is the fucking man. Do not argue this, you will be wrong.

Minor Threat – Complete Discography
I suggest this over their one album release Out of Step simply because this contains not only that album in its entirety, but also for the 17 other tracks. The cover picture is famous among the hardcore scene, and any band including Ian MacKaye needs no explanation. This was a precursor to Fugazi, MacKaye’s other well known project, but where Fugazi was more laid back and controlled, Minor Threat thrashed like they just don’t give a fuck.

Fugazi – Repeater
It was hard to choose between Repeater and 13 Songs, but I think Repeater is a better album, even if 13 Songs did contain “Waiting Room”. This album is the most structured and fluent record they have made, as each song seems to carry into the next like a Pink Floyd-Pixies mash up. “Repeater” is a great song, but the two instrumental tracks serve as proof that the band actually knew how to play their instruments, as opposed to some of their peers.

Bad Brains – Bad Brains
Everyone from Billy Corgan and David Grohl to Henry Rollins has hailed this band as being the fathers of American hardcore punk, a feat not easily accomplished for an all black band hailing from D.C. Tracks like “Pay To Cum” and “Banned In D.C.” make this album required listening for any punk rock fan, but also serves as a nice musical “Fuck You!” to hipsters, parents, the law, and just about everybody else. Thank these guys for American punk, because they essentially are responsible for it.

Circle Jerks – Group Sex
Although not part of the “Big Three” (Black Flag, Bad Brains, Minor Threat, respectively) the Circle Jerks have contributed a pair of great hardcore albums, Group Sex being their first (Wild in the Streets being the other). With future Bad Religion guitarist Greg Heston, and post Black Flag member Keith Morris, the Circle Jerks should have been bigger. But what they lack in mythos they more than make up for in hard hitting punk tunes. Supposedly they are working on a new album, but until that is confirmed, reach out for this one. You won’t be disappointed.

Well that does it for this session of Shit You Should Listen To! Let me know if you experience any of these records or artist and tell me what you think. And if they make you hate me, that’s ok too. As always, stay sexy America.

I had a name but now I’m a number, 1…2…3…Repeater!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Proof We Evolved From Monkeys

Oh wicked and wonderful words, how I have woefully wounded and worried those I love with the absence of your presence... that’s some Zen shit right there. Apparently my writing schedule is as reliable as the Fox News channel. But rejoice! For today, I speak in words written on parchment forged from the fires of Mordor! This is, oddly, also referred to as Microsoft Word. It’s all relative.

It would also appear that in my quest to understand Hypergraphia, it has somehow managed to enslave me to its cause, nearly casting me the role of the devils right hand. I am but a pawn in its vile game of literary disobedience. I’m just lucky that way I guess.

Anyway, for those who are not aware, The Departed is coming out on DVD in a few weeks. I suggest you begin the hunt for an appropriate big screen TV. This is a film worthy of the very same televisions used by the Matrix to monitor humans, were they but a little larger and contained a built in HD receiver.

Also in the land of me, I have been paying close attention to the news (controversy?) surrounding presidential candidate Obama. Obama, who’s full name is Barack Hussein Obama, is apparently not fit to be president because of, and I am bullshitting you here, his name. I am dead serious. There are people (mostly conservatives) making an uproar because his first name resembles the name of the country we are at war with (I guess), his middle name is the last name of the guy executed last week (look him up), and his last name rhymes with “Osama” (dear god no! Not rhymes!)

This is seriously what the news world is all abuzz about. I can’t even turn on the fucking cooking channel without some neo-conservative telling me that we can’t allow Obama to become president because his name rhymes with “Osama”, but I guess we call have all the Dick and Bush we want. Fascinating. Its shit like this that makes me believe this country is so far beyond fucked that it makes a porn star blush.

How were my eyes so blinded?