If I was in a heavy metal band, I would call it Gay Demons Frolicking Amongst The Flowers. We would dress up like Mudvayne, but with fantastic pink devil horns and rainbows painted on our bodies. Our stage would literally be a giant flower pot, with roses and tulips and maybe some pretty daisies. We would jump and skip around in the flower bed, stopping only to complain when we broke a string or crushed a tulip. Our sound would be heavy, with crushing guitars and drums that would cause irregularities in your heart beat. Our songs would be titled "I Will Destroy Your Soul If You Don't Tell Me Where You Bought Those Shoes" and "Kiss Me, Kill Me, Gay-Marry Me". Our first album would be titled Give Me Dick Over Bush or maybe something a little less political, like Andy Dick Fuck Machine. And when we win a Grammy, we could play our latest single, "I Loved The Sound Of Music", and stand at the little podium and thank GLAAD, Ozzy, God, and every gay icon in the entertainment industry. Then we would become a cliche, turn into one of those Behind The Music downward spirals. I would get hooked on smack or Epsom salt, loose all of my money paying off the flower mafia, be saved by Jesus, and make a great comeback album titled You Can't Keep A Good Gay Demon Down. It would be heavier, darker, but with way more singles and frolicking involved. Now that is a Behind The Music episode worth watching. I can't fucking wait. Happy Friday!
-B
this was my life, this was my fate
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