Sunday, October 21, 2007

Kiss The Bottle

So I just got out of the hospital, and as usual I am going to use this space as filler for the empty vacuum where I once had a soul. I have been out of the news loop for the past few days, so for today I am going to talk about how much I hate Halloween. I may even delve into how much I love crepes, but I make no promises. Halloween is essentially an excuse to give kids nightmares and cavities, give men a reason to get drunk and pretend their Master Chief and women an excuse to dress up like hookers. I hate candy too, so there is really no upside that I can see for celebrating this stupid "holiday". It's like Columbus Day to me, only instead of some white Spaniard getting lost and killing a bunch if non-white people, some white guys get drunk and give kids diabetes. Of course, those who know me will argue that I hate everything and I am really dead inside anyway, so why would I even bother to state that I hate a holiday when it should be clear that I hate all holidays. But the truth is that I don't. I like St. Patrick's day, that's a good one. And international Get-Drunk-And-Pee-On-Stuff day too, I could celebrate that all year long. But the truth is that I do hate Halloween, always have and I always will. I know I am forgetting something... oh yeah, crepes! Crepes are delicious.

I kiss the bottle, I should've been kissing you

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