Monday, January 15, 2007

Proof We Evolved From Monkeys

Oh wicked and wonderful words, how I have woefully wounded and worried those I love with the absence of your presence... that’s some Zen shit right there. Apparently my writing schedule is as reliable as the Fox News channel. But rejoice! For today, I speak in words written on parchment forged from the fires of Mordor! This is, oddly, also referred to as Microsoft Word. It’s all relative.

It would also appear that in my quest to understand Hypergraphia, it has somehow managed to enslave me to its cause, nearly casting me the role of the devils right hand. I am but a pawn in its vile game of literary disobedience. I’m just lucky that way I guess.

Anyway, for those who are not aware, The Departed is coming out on DVD in a few weeks. I suggest you begin the hunt for an appropriate big screen TV. This is a film worthy of the very same televisions used by the Matrix to monitor humans, were they but a little larger and contained a built in HD receiver.

Also in the land of me, I have been paying close attention to the news (controversy?) surrounding presidential candidate Obama. Obama, who’s full name is Barack Hussein Obama, is apparently not fit to be president because of, and I am bullshitting you here, his name. I am dead serious. There are people (mostly conservatives) making an uproar because his first name resembles the name of the country we are at war with (I guess), his middle name is the last name of the guy executed last week (look him up), and his last name rhymes with “Osama” (dear god no! Not rhymes!)

This is seriously what the news world is all abuzz about. I can’t even turn on the fucking cooking channel without some neo-conservative telling me that we can’t allow Obama to become president because his name rhymes with “Osama”, but I guess we call have all the Dick and Bush we want. Fascinating. Its shit like this that makes me believe this country is so far beyond fucked that it makes a porn star blush.

How were my eyes so blinded?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

rhyming your name with positive or negative national influences is the most important part of a political campaign silly! don't you remember president Bood Ledonomy?