Music of Choice:
Green Day – Whatsername
I have often wondered what my reaction would be if I were to suddenly run in to an old flame. Ok, one old flame in particular, the others I am either friends with or do not give a shit about. I have thought the event over in my head many times. I could tell you the conversations I have imagined us having, the smiles and congratulations on our state of livelihood at that particular time. I have rehearsed this scene a thousand times in my head, as if I am practicing, studying lines in a play that I already know the end to. The problem is it will never happen.
I have come to realize that all those movies about lovers reconnecting and dishing out those smiles and congratulations, the nostalgia, the forgiveness, the thrill of seeing them and how they turned out, are total bullshit. It does not happen, and here is why; we are not meant for it to happen. We get one chance, only one, and if we fuck it up, there is no going back, years down the road and apologizing, nor receiving forgiveness. One always moves on, and one always stays behind. This life is short, too damn short, and we only get one fucking chance? Who the fuck made that rule?
We not only are not given the chance to fix past mistakes, but we get to constantly be reminded of them. We won’t remember what the argument was about, but we remember the song playing on the radio when we drove away. We won’t remember how it ended, but we can’t forget how it began. And the worst part of it all? I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. I’m glad I remember our first date, and not our last argument. I’m glad I remember “our song” and not the reason why we broke up. At least we get the comfort of knowing that we may forget them, but we won’ forget the time we had with them.
“Forgetting you but not the time”