Monday, July 23, 2007

Boozed-Out Snuff Machine



There is little I enjoy more than watching a country singer slowly deconstruct, ultimately becoming nothing more than a bankrupt and friendless boozed-out snuff machine with more warrants than fans (or money). Hearing that Mindy McCready has been arrested and charged with battery and resisting arrest is probably the best news I have heard in a long time. Before you paint me to be a cruel human being devoid of any emotion, allow me to explain; country singers generally whine about 5 things:

1 - The Military - although none ever serve
2 - God - because he totally approves of divorce, hookers, booze, drugs, and resisting arrest
3 - Women - usually the one that broke their heart and drove away in their truck with their best friend
4 - Their Dog - usually in the bed of the truck mentioned above
5 - U.S.A. - Because to a country singer the U.S.A. can do no wrong

Now McCready has managed to avoid the problems caused by most of these things in her career (mostly by being the female mentioned above), but she did manage to prove the point she was trying to make 11 years ago. You may remember (or may not, if you're lucky) that song "Guys Do It All The Time" that came out back in the stone age of 1996. Well, guys tend to get arrested for battery and trying to avoid being arrested for said battery. So congratulations Mindy. It took you 11 years, but we now understand what the hell you were trying to say. You are now one of the guys. Congratulations, you've made it.

-B
You've broken off the mirror, you're turning into something you are not


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