List of possible reasons B has not written a post in the past week:
1 - Kidnapped by aliens.
2 - Kidnapped by sexy aliens.
3 - Fell in a well, Lassie wasn't around.
4 - Swallowed by Oprah's gigantic thighs while looking for remote control.
5 - Ate a rock, thought it was a cookie. Been in bathroom ever since.
6 - Still leading double life as superhero Paperclip Man. Has yet to find The Stapler.
8 - Ate number 7, got sick, died, reincarnated as a walrus.
9 - Saw Courtney Love naked, went blind, and stepped on landmine in the mall (who knew).
10 - Was beaten, raped, and murdered (not necessarily in that order) by angry mob of Harry Potter fans.
are you fucking happy now?