I have a problem. It is an addiction, a master as I am its slave. I cannot escape its clutching grasp of mental dependency nor can I master this puppeteer of my time, my attention, and ultimately my soul. This master controls my time like Luke controlled the force, only with greater efficiency and stronger resolve to completely consume all that is holy and just. My master slipped by my technologically advanced defenses undetected and armed to the teeth. I am lost. My master is…Solitaire.
I cannot stop playing this god damn game. I always fucking lose. I don’t even like solitaire. There are certainly more productive ways I could be spending my time. I could be playing my guitar, drawing, having sexual relations with an unnamed female, or discussing the importance of a 3 iron-wood hybrid in a golfer’s bag. But no, I am a slave to solitaire. Why? Because I hate myself.
I’ve been thinkin’ about my doorbell, and when you’re gonna ring it