So I was in Togo’s today purchasing a hot pastrami sandwich, because that’s how I roll, when suddenly a song came on. That song: Xanadu. I shit you not, I was in a fast food restaurant being served by 3 teenage females (and I mean served in the least sexual way possible) listening to a song that A) deserves no radio play, B) most certainly does not belong in a sandwich shop, and C) was released before anybody in that entire building was even born. Ok, it came out the years I was born, but that doesn’t count. Now you may be asking yourself why I would see this as such an anomaly and one could certainly argue that there are far greater mysteries in the universe than attempting to understand the social significance of a shitty song being played in a mediocre sandwich shop. Anyway, my point is this; what radio station lackey decided to play that song?
Did someone wake up in the morning and decide that we as a society need another reminder of an 80’s cult movie that was accompanied by a terrible soundtrack? Were they sipping coffee in their Jaguar on the ride to work and suddenly felt the urge to dance and shimmy to some futuristic ABBA-type discothèque one hit wonder that never deserved to be a hit in the first place? I mean god damn, why would someone make me listen to that song? Why would someone even WRITE that song? You people are trying to kill me aren’t you? Fuck Xanadu.
You’re not punk, and I’m tellin’ everyone