Brave New World

It’s hard to learn things about yourself when you assume you already know everything. We assume in life that we are rarely offered the opportunity to discover something about ourselves that we did not already know, even if we only knew it at a subconscious level. And when that opportunity presents itself, we usually ignore it. Unless you’re coming out of the closet or finding God of course, then it’s kind of hard to ignore. But previous exceptions aside, we generally assume we know all there is to know about us. The problem is that, to quote Chuck Klosterman, everybody is wrong about everything just about all the time. And people call me a cynic.

Today however I learned something about myself that I did not previously know; I hate technology. Oh I use it, of course. I have no choice but to use technology at any given moment that it is available to me. The problem is that I can’t stand it. I hate computers, but here I am typing on one. I hate cellular phones, but if I were to lose mine, I would be left wondering the earth in a constant state of confusion and fear. I hate cars, but I also hate walking, so I guess they kind of cancel each other out. C’est la vie.

It’s not my appreciation for vinyl records or my love of paper books over a computer monitor that feeds my disdain for this Brave New World. It is my reluctance to rely on technology that makes me hate it. We rely on technology so much that we stand impatiently in line waiting for that text message reply, when we could easily have called them on the phone. Hell, thirty years ago people wrote letters to other people using the magical force of the postal service. For the kids out there, when I say “letter” I do not mean the characters you type next to punctuation symbols to create those emoticons you love so much. I am referring to a letter, like a pen-pal (remember those?).

Relying on technology has not only shortened our attention span, but made us far less patient. It has also made us lazy. Think about it for a second. The mother of invention is necessity. Necessity is driven by the desire to do something more efficient, i.e. faster, better, cheaper and whatnot. Corporations spend billions of dollars on years of research to make a product that will make shit easier for me. And we pay for it with a smile. We would rather spend hundreds of dollars on household products that make our job easier than spend the time doing it ourselves. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

We, as a society, have a constant desire to be reachable by anyone at any time. We spend money for the privilege of talking to people we don’t need to talk to about shit nobody cares about. And to make matters worse, everybody else in the goddamn vicinity of us has to hear our conversations about some drunken agro whore we slept with last week or our prediction of who is going to win the Superbowl. Next time you’re on the phone, take a quick poll of the people around you to find out how many of them give a shit about your opinion. Not to mention how much they probably hate your stupid fucking 50 Cent ring tone even though you’re white, can’t dance, shop at the Gap, and sell car insurance.

God dammit I hate technology.

-B
I know a girl who thinks of ghosts

Shit You Should Listen To! #2

Hello folks, its B here with your semi-annual 112th anniversary edition of Shit You Should Listen To! Today we have a tasty menu of treats to tingle your musical taste buds and delight your most delicate sensual receptors. For those of you who are new to this festival of music, here is how it works. I give you a list of shit you should be listening to, and you go out and buy, borrow, burn, rip, steal, or download it. This edition is dedicated to American Hardcore, and boy do we have some great acts for your listening pleasure. Here they are, in no particular order:

Black Flag – Damaged
Pissing off parents and Joe Lieberman since 1976, Black Flag did their most damage to society’s youth with their appropriately titled album Damaged. Containing what I believe to be the best of Black Flag, this record speeds thru anger and frustration like James Dean in a Porsche doin’ 120 in the Hollywood hills while high on coke. “Rise Above” and “Six Pack” are among their best tunes, but it’s the almost cute sing along of “TV Party” that adds that special sauce to the assault-and-battery flavor. Plus, Henry Rollins is the fucking man. Do not argue this, you will be wrong.

Minor Threat – Complete Discography
I suggest this over their one album release Out of Step simply because this contains not only that album in its entirety, but also for the 17 other tracks. The cover picture is famous among the hardcore scene, and any band including Ian MacKaye needs no explanation. This was a precursor to Fugazi, MacKaye’s other well known project, but where Fugazi was more laid back and controlled, Minor Threat thrashed like they just don’t give a fuck.

Fugazi – Repeater
It was hard to choose between Repeater and 13 Songs, but I think Repeater is a better album, even if 13 Songs did contain “Waiting Room”. This album is the most structured and fluent record they have made, as each song seems to carry into the next like a Pink Floyd-Pixies mash up. “Repeater” is a great song, but the two instrumental tracks serve as proof that the band actually knew how to play their instruments, as opposed to some of their peers.

Bad Brains – Bad Brains
Everyone from Billy Corgan and David Grohl to Henry Rollins has hailed this band as being the fathers of American hardcore punk, a feat not easily accomplished for an all black band hailing from D.C. Tracks like “Pay To Cum” and “Banned In D.C.” make this album required listening for any punk rock fan, but also serves as a nice musical “Fuck You!” to hipsters, parents, the law, and just about everybody else. Thank these guys for American punk, because they essentially are responsible for it.

Circle Jerks – Group Sex
Although not part of the “Big Three” (Black Flag, Bad Brains, Minor Threat, respectively) the Circle Jerks have contributed a pair of great hardcore albums, Group Sex being their first (Wild in the Streets being the other). With future Bad Religion guitarist Greg Heston, and post Black Flag member Keith Morris, the Circle Jerks should have been bigger. But what they lack in mythos they more than make up for in hard hitting punk tunes. Supposedly they are working on a new album, but until that is confirmed, reach out for this one. You won’t be disappointed.

Well that does it for this session of Shit You Should Listen To! Let me know if you experience any of these records or artist and tell me what you think. And if they make you hate me, that’s ok too. As always, stay sexy America.

-B
I had a name but now I’m a number, 1…2…3…Repeater!

Proof We Evolved From Monkeys

Oh wicked and wonderful words, how I have woefully wounded and worried those I love with the absence of your presence... that’s some Zen shit right there. Apparently my writing schedule is as reliable as the Fox News channel. But rejoice! For today, I speak in words written on parchment forged from the fires of Mordor! This is, oddly, also referred to as Microsoft Word. It’s all relative.

It would also appear that in my quest to understand Hypergraphia, it has somehow managed to enslave me to its cause, nearly casting me the role of the devils right hand. I am but a pawn in its vile game of literary disobedience. I’m just lucky that way I guess.

Anyway, for those who are not aware, The Departed is coming out on DVD in a few weeks. I suggest you begin the hunt for an appropriate big screen TV. This is a film worthy of the very same televisions used by the Matrix to monitor humans, were they but a little larger and contained a built in HD receiver.

Also in the land of me, I have been paying close attention to the news (controversy?) surrounding presidential candidate Obama. Obama, who’s full name is Barack Hussein Obama, is apparently not fit to be president because of, and I am bullshitting you here, his name. I am dead serious. There are people (mostly conservatives) making an uproar because his first name resembles the name of the country we are at war with (I guess), his middle name is the last name of the guy executed last week (look him up), and his last name rhymes with “Osama” (dear god no! Not rhymes!)

This is seriously what the news world is all abuzz about. I can’t even turn on the fucking cooking channel without some neo-conservative telling me that we can’t allow Obama to become president because his name rhymes with “Osama”, but I guess we call have all the Dick and Bush we want. Fascinating. Its shit like this that makes me believe this country is so far beyond fucked that it makes a porn star blush.

-B
How were my eyes so blinded?

2006 At A Glance

10 Best Albums of 2006:

1: Cat Power – The greatest
2: Tom Waits – Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers, and Bastards
3: Pearl Jam – Pearl Jam
4: Sonic Youth – Rather Ripped
5: Bob Dylan – Modern Times
6: My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade
7: Rise Against – The Sufferer and The Witness
8: The Hold Steady – Boys and Girls In America
9: Dirty Pretty Things – Waterloo To Anywhere
10: Neko Case – Fox Confessor Brings The Flood

5 Best Album Runner Up’s of 2006:

1: The Decemberists –The Crane Wife
2: The Raconteurs – Broken Boy Soldiers
3: The Strokes – First Impressions of Earth
4: Built To Spill – You In Reverse
5: The Flaming Lips – At War With The Mystics

10 Best Songs of 2006:

1: Cat Power – Lived In Bars
2: Tom Waits – Road To Peace
3: Pearl Jam – Marker In The Sand
4: Incubus – Anna Molly
5: Rise Against – Prayer For A Refugee
6: Drive-By Truckers – Gravity’s Gone
7: The Fray – How To Save A Life
8: Wolfmother – Joker & The Thief
9: Cat Power – Living Proof
10: My Chemical Romance – Disenchanted

5 Best Song Runner Up’s of 2006:

1: Pearl Jam – World Wide Suicide
2: Cat Power – The Greatest
3: My Chemical Romance – Welcome To The Black Parade
4: Drive-By Truckers – Wednesday
5: Muse – Starlight

10 Most Overrated Shit of 2006:

1: Gnarls Barkley – Album, Songs, Videos, Talent
2: The Killers – Album, Songs, Videos, Talent, Attitude
3: The Microsoft Zune
4: Podcasts
5: George W. Bush
6: Anything To Do With Britney Spears
7: Borat
8: Pitchfork
9: Spin Magazine
10: Justin Timberlake – Music, The Fact That He Supposedly “Brought Sexy Back”

10 Best Movies of 2006:

1: The Departed
2: Brick
3: Blood Diamond
4: Hard Candy
5: V For Vendetta
6: Little Miss Sunshine
7: Thank You For Smoking
8: The Proposition
9: Inside Man
10: A Scanner Darkly

5 Best Movies Runner Up’s of 2006

1: All The Kings Men
2: An Inconvenient Truth
3: Casino Royale
4: Lucky Number Slevin
5: The Good Shepard – Even Though I Have Yet To See It

That’s all for 2006, here’s to hoping for a better 2007!

-B
Lived in bars and danced on tables

Happy Holidays

So I just spent the last week in the hospital with pancreatitis. That was not a good way to spend the week leading up to Christmas. I did my shopping today. Surprisingly enough there were no long lines. Anyway, this is just a short post to say merry Christmas or whatever holiday it is you happen to celebrate. See you all later.

-B
I sometimes wonder if they know that I’m gone

The Colors Are Delicious

Is the new dance-pop-punk craze annoying you as much as it is me? I am currently listening to HelloGoodbye, one of the many new dance punk bands that is currently polluting the airwaves, and I have to say, I feel like I should be getting’ my shimmy on down at Studio 54 with a glow stick and some cocaine. This is the kind of shit that makes people like Tom Araya want to stab a knife in someone’s back and carve the word “SLAYER” into their funky fresh beat dancin’ skin. I can’t tell if I hate this as much as the new Panic! At The Fallout Boy Disco crap they’re serving up on Fuse, but its close.

Anyway, I get the feeling that this is the “new thing” for the next 12 to 18 months. It is kind of like the resurgence of swing music back in ’98; it sucks, but its ok to pretend you like it if you are either a hipster and/or gay. Oh well, I guess it’s better than a new album by Ace of Base. So I am now changing my play list from dance crap to Electric Six…that’s better.

So apparently the committee that tells us if the war in Iraq is going our way or not (apparently Americans are not smart enough to make that decision themselves) is now saying that, and I quote, “President Bush’s war policies have failed in almost every regard”. What has two thumbs and is not surprised at this news at all? Here’s a hint; I am currently pointing my thumbs back at myself in a condescending and narcissistic manner and shouting “This guy!”

Anyway, for those of you who remember The Atari’s, they are finally releasing their latest record, which has been on the shelves for over two years. That’s nothing in comparison to Axl Rose, but still, I have kind of been looking forward to it. Apparently the band, which now consists of Chris Roe and five other dudes, is taking a different route than previously. Now I am ok with this, as expansion and experimentation is something I encourage and admire in music, but I think they (ok, Chris Roe) are doing it for the wrong reasons. Just because that part of your life is over, does not mean you stop playing the tunes that got you to where you are right now. But I am done whining for now, so go listen to some Jeff Buckley.

-B
You’re a few years overdue. I spent them waiting here for you.

The Midnight Disease

As you may have noticed, I have a problem with writing consistency. I will write everyday for two weeks, then maybe once a week for another three weeks. I will freely admit that I suffer from hypergraphia (the medical term for an overpowering desire to write), but what I did not know is that hypergraphia also leads to writers block. I have recently acquired a marvelous book on writing and hypergraphia titled The Midnight Disease, by Alice W. Flaherty. This is a very interesting read not only for writers, but for those who enjoy books but constantly find themselves picking up and putting down a book over a long period of time. We are driven to write or read something, but are unable to keep an attention span towards the subject for very long. It sucks, trust me.

Anyway, when I finish the book I plan on doing an essay on the subject. I know, right now you are probably asking yourself “well if he just admitted that he is inconsistent, will he actually write an essay on hypergraphia or will he have a mental block because of it?” Well I can assure you, I will (write it, not have a mental block). And if you doubt my claim, pick up the book and you will soon understand why I am not only inconsistent, but why I cannot avoid writing for very long.

Anyway, I went to the Primus show Sunday night. Primus always puts on an amazing display, but they dragged out their songs so long that it felt like they wanted to be Pink Floyd, and their song selection was mediocre, at best. I still think they are great, and Les Claypool is the greatest bass player to ever live, but it could have been a better show. So, that is all for now, I am going to go get Scrubs on, stay classy Sacramento.

-B
If Heaven is for real, I wish you’d send me on my way

This Is Why I Am Single

10 things I never want to hear a woman say:

1. Um, we need to talk.


2. It burns when I pee.


3. I think my boyfriend knows.


4. Have you accepted our lord Jesus Christ as your savior?


5. I just got my drivers license!


6. I don’t think it’s loaded…


7. Have you met your son?


8. Relax, I know exactly where we’re going.


9. I don’t think that was apple juice…


10. My dads a cop.

-B
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?

Layercake

So I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. I had the flu for the past week, so I did not enjoy mine. It sucked. Anyway, I saw the new James Bond flick, and it was really good. Definitely worth checking out. Daniel Craig is a good James Bond. If you don’t know who he is, check out Layercake and Munich, both very good movies.

So the new Brand New album came out last week. I have to be honest; I am having a hard time with it. I am going to give it a few more listens before I establish my opinion, but for now I suggest you spend your money on either the new album by My Chemical Romance or Rise Against.

I work overtime for the next few months so if I am silent or unavailable for a while, do not be surprised; I am working 72 hours a week with only one day off. I am going to see Primus on Sunday, and I have Monday off so maybe a new album review and a concert review, and maybe some soft and sexy poetry…maybe.

-B
What did you learn tonight?

Breakfast Of Champions

You people amaze me. Just when you have me convinced that the people of this country are a bunch of fucking idiots, you have managed to restore a fraction of my faith in you. The elections showed something that I honestly believe most people thought impossible. I have stated over and over again that the citizens of this country are getting fed up with the lies, propaganda, scandals, and war. You people have proven me right. In what can be considered a record turnout of voters, the Democrats have taken back the house and the senate.

This is not to say that the Democrats are going to fix everything, because I honestly believe that they can’t. Bush fucked it up so much that the batch of Dem’s we have just aren’t capable of fixing it right now, and we still got Bush in the White House for two more years. But the fact that the Democrats are taking over is not what amazes me.

What amazes me is that the country has shown that they want change. When 30% of registered Republicans vote against the Republican Party that does not show betrayal; that shows disgust. They are disgusted at what their party has become and the choices that their leaders have made. What amazes me is that no matter how many lies you thrown in our face, no matter how many wars you make us fight, or how much you threaten us with fear, terrorism, and damnation by God himself, you cannot stop the people when they want change.

The people of this country, myself included, are sick and tried of being lied to. We are sick of being treated like children who are told what to think, what to believe, how to act, and how to spend our money. We are sick of reading about our trusted leaders getting involved in sex scandals. We are sick of conservatives telling us that gays go to hell, only to have them caught with their pants down and a dick in their mouth. We are sick of the “I say stay the course” only to later be fed “I never said stay the course”. We are sick of your propaganda, your wars, and your fucking lies.

You have restored a fraction of my faith by proving that something has to change. This is not to condemn the Republicans, because I believe in bipartisanship. This is only to show that when you are entrusted with the faith of the American people to do what is right and what is best for this country, you had better not fuck it up. This month shows that we want change, and we are willing to do what it takes to hold those accountable. How could the GOP possibly not have seen this coming?

-B
With hope in our hearts and bricks in our hands, we sing for change

Royale With Cheese

Don’t look at me that way baby, you knew I was comin’ back. Why would you think that I would leave you? How could you say that! You know you’re the only audience for me baby, I swears it. That other audience don’t mean nuthin’ to me, they just a bunch of skanks. I never touched them, I swear.

So, I am listening to the new Killers record right now, in case any of you needed further proof that I hate myself and enjoy constant suffering and sorrow. It took me a while to figure out why everybody hates them, but after doing a little research I have discovered that it is not the band that everyone hates, but lead singer/front-man/douche bag Brandon Flowers. This is probably due to the fact that he apparently likes to talk a lot of shit about bands that he later claims he has never even heard before. I guess selling five million records gives you that kind of clout.

Anyway, I’m excited about the new James Bond flick. Are you excited? I’m excited. I like that they are going back to the beginning and giving it more of that gritty, unpolished look instead of the shoe-polish-shine kind of films we have been treated to as of late. Don’t get me wrong, I like Pierce Brosnan as an actor, but I don’t like what the studio has turned the franchise into. He needs to rely less on his gadgets and more on his training, and the new flick looks like it displays just that.

God dammit this album sucks, switching CD’s…

I have heard some of the new tracks off of the upcoming new release by Brand New, and it sounds delicious. I am giddy with anticipation. I went to the Dashboard Confessional show in San Jose two weeks ago, but I missed Brand New and only caught Dashboard. I’m just lucky that way. Never in my life have I seen so many pairs of Converse All Stars in one place. It was creepy.

I have been slacking off on my new album and concert reviews, and it is not for lack of new material to critique. It is simply that I am too busy right now, but I want to pick it back up so this weekend I am going to crank out a few record reviews, and I am going to see Bishop Allen and Starlight Mints this Friday, so I will have a review of that up this weekend as well.

Well, that is about it for now. I have been sick the last couple of days and cannot get rid of these headaches, so I am going to pray for the sweet sudden death that never comes. Stay sexy.

-B
Ever since I was young your word is the word that always won

The Great Gatsby

There’s the love of your life, the love that got away, and the lost love. You’re supposed to love the one you’re with, let love in, let love shine, and let your love grow. All is fair in love and war, love hurts, love bites, love sucks, and love stinks. Love heals all, make love not war, love your neighbor, love your enemy, and love unconditionally. Can’t buy me love, love don’t cost a thing, love is free, love all, love life. Love yourself, love God, love is all around, and love makes the world go round.

They tell you everything you need to know about love except where to find it.

-B
Come on now, let me feel the gross out