Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Bitch Magnet

Why are women so fucking weird? I mean, they used to be simple. Hell, I used to be able to figure them out. Now, I’m lucky if I get their name right half the time. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not only the woman’s fault. Men play a big role in this, and whether you like it or not, I am going to explain why. So grab a beer or two, a couple of smokes, and maybe a notepad, cause I’m about to get all preachy on yer’ ass.

In the beginning, men were men. They loved one woman, fought for their country, worked the family farm or business at the age of eight, and started driving by the age of ten. That all changed with the generation known commonly as the “baby-boomers”. When this generation hit, technology was at a boom. Computers were being invented, the cold war was raging on, and the economy was booming. With this generation came a new breed of men and in consequence a new edition of the woman was bred.

Men at this time began investing in stocks, buying land for profit instead of farming, and actually going to college. The new breed was not interested in plowing corn; they want to pillage Wall Street. The women, in turn, started to become more independent. They also started going to college, getting into technology, and started putting off having a family until they were financially stable, many times without the help of a husband. This eventually led to the birth of what I like to call the “Sex In The City Girls”. I know that is a horrible name, but hear me out.

This generation of women were (and still are I would imagine) the mothers of the women that are my age. Their independent instincts carried over into my generation. The problem is that the men who were transformed into yuppies have moved on, and the women who were transformed into independent women have not. Now this is not to say women should not be independent, quite the opposite in fact. But the women of the nineties still want the men of the eighties, and the men of the eighties want the women of the forties. We want women who will cook and clean and stay at home while we make a ton of money, and they want to work and leave us at home.

The reason women are so fucked up is not that their expectations are too high (although I am sure that plays some part in all of this); it is that they want a different breed of men. They want the men that can care for them without expecting them to be subservient. They want the house and the SUV and the 2.5 kids, but they don’t want to be thought of as having that kind of lifestyle. Basically, women don’t know what they want, and they probably never will. Us men get to keep guessing until one of two things happen; one, women will figure out what the hell it is they want and will learnt to tell us that, or two, they will just give up and give in. I myself am hoping for the latter, but that could be why I am single.

Can’t you help me as I’m starting to burn

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