I Hate Rap

So 50 Cent (Fitty to the cool kids) is threatening to retire if Kanye West sells more records than Fitty, seeing as how both their records are slated to be released on the same day. Well I like it, it's not the best we could do, but it's a damn good start. Can we do better? I think we can. What I would like to have seen (Kanye? Fitty? You taking notes?) is a deal where both rappers (sorry, "artists") retire. Let's spitball here and see what we can come up with. How about we take the number of records each one sells and award one bullet for every ten thousand units. Then, after the first week sales are tallied, we hand out the bullets and let them hunt each other down in a rundown old factory, kind of like The Running Man, only with rappers. Too cliche? No problem, let's get together for lunch and over a meal of bitches and ho's and crack cocaine we can work this thing out. I'll have my people call your people, get in touch with Fitty and Kanye, and see if we can't turn this media nugget into a bona fide feast.

-B
Take a breath and softly say goodbye

Technorati : 50, cent, kanye, retire, west

Gimme Indie Rock

It's never an easy task to find some good music to listen to. There's some decent music out there, I freely admit that. But good music is something else. So in light of the fact that I am bored and really have nothing else to talk about and I am waiting for my tea to brew, I would like to suggest a few new/recently new/soon to be released records that you might enjoy. So in the words of Chuck Klosterman, let's rock shit up bitch!

The New Pornographers - Challengers (Aug. 21st)
The New Pornographers are one of those bands that release consistently good records, and their new record Challengers is no exception. Check out their MySpace page and give the album a listen (the whole record is available to stream as of this post) and if you like what you hear, pick it up on the 21st. Then work your way backwards through their other 3 albums, and you shouldn't be disappointed. Besides, they have what may be the hottest redhead in rock today (Neko Case), so they get bonus points for that.

Editors - An End Has A Start (out now)
Hailing from Birmingham, England, Editors are currently the hottest new indie band to break from the U.K.. For fans of U2, Joy Division, and Echo and the Bunnymen, Editors may be just what you are looking for. Check them out here.

Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (out now)
Pitchfork darlings Spoon have released the follow up to 2005's Gimme Fiction, and this record seems to pick up right where Gimme Fiction left off. For fans of indie rock and Scrubs alike, you can't go wrong with Spoon, and Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga confirms it. Check them out here.

-B
there's a devil at your side, but an angel on her way

Technorati : editors, ga, indie, klosterman, new, pornographers, spoon

Marker In The Sand

Where do you draw the line on censorship? Does a phone company have the right to censor something that even the FCC would consider a breach on freedom of speech? The internet, which is not monitored by the FCC (yet) is truly the last safe haven for the first amendment. So when Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder changed some of the lyrics of their song "Daughter" to make an anti-Bush statement at Lollapalooza, why was that portion of the song censored by AT&T? For those who have not heard about it, here are the lyrics that were censored, as stated on the band's website;

During the performance of "Daughter" the following lyrics were sung to the tune of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" but were cut from the webcast:

- "George Bush, leave this world alone." (the second time it was sung); and

- "George Bush find yourself another home."

The website also goes on to state the disapproval of the band, much to no one's surprise at all. You can read the article and see the actual clip here. Now I know how most people are going to react, and they can generally be sliced into two groups; the first group, who say that slandering Bush and the administration helps terrorism somehow, although they can never explain how, and the second group, who just don't care. To the first group, I pose this question; have you heard of the American Revolution, and if so, why did it happen? To the second group, I pose this statement; you somehow manage to piss me off more than the first group. I can understand the first group's stance; they're ignorant and possibly stupid and would follow their leaders into hell blindly without so much as stopping to ask themselves why they were doing it. But to not see this as just another cog in the censor machine makes me sick. How much of our personal freedom has to be stripped away from you before you open your eyes? We have people being called traitors simply because they want nothing more than what is guaranteed to them by the Constitution. You know, the document that all those old guys wrote way back when, the one that grants you the right to worship who you choose to worship, and say what you want to say and all that good stuff we used to have. I know it's hard to actually read the damn thing, especially with all the words bleeding through after how much the current administration has pissed on it, but it is there for a reason. And if you think that something so small and trivial could not matter in the larger scope of things, think about this; the American Revolution was started over some fucking tea.

-B
there is a sickness, a sickness coming over me, like watching freedom being sucked straight out to sea

Technorati : censor, censorship, daughter, pearl jam, pink floyd, vedder

Layla and Other Assorted Homewreckers

As if to remind us all that "hey, you know those two guys wrote songs about me right?", Pattie Boyd has finally decided to talk about what everybody already knew about and probably stopped caring about long before she pretended nobody knew about it. Nothing screams "I don't matter" like screaming "I still matter". Being Pattie Boyd is kind of like being Marianne Faithfull for music geeks, which is kind of like being the one guy on Star Trek that wears the red shirt and always dies, which is kind of like being completely useless but remembered for it. Forget the stories you read everyday about some dumb ho who wrecked some already-in-shambles-anyway marriage between two star-crossed kinda-sorta lovers who met on the set of the new action flick and divorced before its release. Pattie Boyd did it with style, grace, and possibly your best friend. It's not an easy feat to inspire two of rock's greatest songs, much less be remembered for it and... pretty much nothing else. We are constantly bombarded with stories of infidelity with some no-name actress, nanny, or hooker, but when was the last time we had a good old fashioned homewrecker like Pattie Boyd? The answer is that we haven't. So go ahead and air out your dirty laundry Pattie, we won't hold it against you. God knows it's better than whatever the hell Britney has been doing lately.

-B
what'll you do when you get lonely, and nobody's waiting by your side

Technorati : boyd, clapton, harrison, layla, pattie

The Spirit Of Radio

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to doing, you know, his job, president Bush has no problem taking 6 weeks off? But when it comes to continuing his eavesdropping scheme, Congress cannot leave for recess until the "Democrats" put forth a bill he will sign. Maybe the "Democrats" aren't pushing a bill because they see how wrong it is to tap every phone line in America. I am curious, and please feel free to answer these questions; what has Bush done the past 6 years in regards to Social Security? How about health care? Nothing. How about education? Well, he did take money away from it to keep the war going, so I guess that's doing something. His entire line of supporters is going down in flames of scandal, and all he can think about is convincing the dwindling demographic of war supporters that he needs more money for the war. Ok Bush, here's your chance; find the $12 billion dollars that asshole J. Paul Bremer "lost" in Iraq. It shouldn't be too hard to find. The money was stacked on pallets, in denominations of $100, and weighs about 363 tons. That's like losing the Statue of Liberty in the middle of fucking Arizona. Bremer should have been shot in the fucking head for being that fucking dumb.

Anyway, I have seen a few shows in the past week. I saw Dream Theater (interesting), Rise Against (good), and Rush (awesome). I am not a Rush fan, but they put on a great live show, and "The Spirit of Radio" was awesome live. I would write more but my fingers shake with generic-molten rage at the thought of some inbred Mid-Western douche bag smiling as he pushes the Bush button on the morally-questionable voting machine. I honestly believe that Bush won because the majority of the country can't read words with more than four letters and they were probably thinking of a totally different kind of Dick & Bush. Maybe a comedy duo?

-B
this is the price you pay for loss of control

Technorati : bremer, bush, cheney, dream theater, rise against, rush

The High Cost Of Low Price

Have you ever wondered how it is that Wal Mart is able to sell things so cheap? Well, the documentary Wal Mart: The High Cost of Low Price should help explain how, through forced cheap labor in third world countries and shady business management, Wal Mart can afford to sell you that toaster for 15 cents. Now I know some of you will claim that the tax revenue brought in by Wal Mart in small rural areas outweighs the consequences of small businesses going under and the city losing money for schools and fire departments due to the money going to a Wal Mart subsidy, but you are wrong. Watch the film, do some research, and if you can still shop at Wal Mart afterwards, then you are a stronger person than me. I will never step foot into another Wal Mart store. This film literally made me feel sick. And this is not just anti-big business propaganda, for those of you who favor capitalism over fair competition. This film is narrated by employees, managers, and the men, women, and children who work 7 days a week, 15 hours a day for less than $3.00 a day under conditions that would make a modern day sweatshop seem like a country club. And don't even get me started on the Walton family and their "contributions", or lack thereof, to the community. Check it out and tell me what you think, I promise you will be surprised and shocked at what you discover.

-B
any doubt will simply wipe itself out

Technorati : cheap labor, discrimination, high cost, lawsuit, low price, wal mart

Boozed-Out Snuff Machine

There is little I enjoy more than watching a country singer slowly deconstruct, ultimately becoming nothing more than a bankrupt and friendless boozed-out snuff machine with more warrants than fans (or money). Hearing that Mindy McCready has been arrested and charged with battery and resisting arrest is probably the best news I have heard in a long time. Before you paint me to be a cruel human being devoid of any emotion, allow me to explain; country singers generally whine about 5 things:

1 - The Military - although none ever serve
2 - God - because he totally approves of divorce, hookers, booze, drugs, and resisting arrest
3 - Women - usually the one that broke their heart and drove away in their truck with their best friend
4 - Their Dog - usually in the bed of the truck mentioned above
5 - U.S.A. - Because to a country singer the U.S.A. can do no wrong

Now McCready has managed to avoid the problems caused by most of these things in her career (mostly by being the female mentioned above), but she did manage to prove the point she was trying to make 11 years ago. You may remember (or may not, if you're lucky) that song "Guys Do It All The Time" that came out back in the stone age of 1996. Well, guys tend to get arrested for battery and trying to avoid being arrested for said battery. So congratulations Mindy. It took you 11 years, but we now understand what the hell you were trying to say. You are now one of the guys. Congratulations, you've made it.

-B
You've broken off the mirror, you're turning into something you are not

Technorati : country, mccready, mindy

Prevent This Tragedy

After 14 years, the police have decided to take another look at the case of the West Memphis Three. What the hell they were waiting for, we will never know. I am still constantly shocked at the amount of people that I meet who have never heard of the West Memphis Three or the great injustice imposed upon them. This link will help catch you up on the back story. For the short version, three children (Steve Branch, Michael Moore, and Christopher Byers) were brutally murdered in the Robin Hood Hills part of West Memphis, Arkansas. What followed can only be described as mob mentality exploiting a corrupt and unjust system to scapegoat 3 teenagers (Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelley, and Jason Baldwin) and pin this horrible crime on them simply because they were considered outcasts. The boys have spent the past 14 years in prison, with Echols on death row.

Now that it is apparent that a mistake may have been made, two things can happen; the case can be ignored and let die, or those who educate themselves with the story and feel that this is an injustice that must be stopped can stand up and make a little noise. Here is a spark that can be used to set this case on fire in the eyes of the media, and get some people to start paying attention. So, go read Devil's Knot by Mara Leveritt, watch Paradise Lost and Paradise Lost 2, and educate yourself. This is something that can happen to anyone who society deems to be "weird" or "not normal", simply because they look different. If you want to help the cause, visit WM3.org and see how you can help. Remember, this could have happened to any of us. Free the West Memphis Three!

-B
We are the walking dead, we hold this ghost in our arms

Technorati : baldwin, devil's knot, echols, misskelley, paradise lost, west memphis three, wm3

In A Car Under Water With Time To Kill

The human psyche is a wonderful and mysterious thing. We, as humans have the capacity to understand mortality without even so much as a vague conception of death. We have the power to create and the will to destroy, all possible without a second thought of consequence. Whenever I am presented with a display of just how distant we are from understanding our very own humanity, I silently hope that it will be the last time we are confronted with opportunity to look a little closer and learn something about ourselves. As if this final glimpse into humanity is all it takes to understand why we do what we do to each other. Naturally, I walk away disappointed, amazed at the blatant disregard for the thirst of knowledge, traded away for the convenience of fear and ignorant bliss. Fear is a powerful enemy. We fear what we don't understand, what seems foreign to us. Fear causes us to burn bridges instead of build them. It's always somehow easier to walk away than to take that first step forward. I have tried all my life to understand why people make decisions based on fear, and I am not one step closer to understanding it than I was 27 years ago. But I have learned one thing; I would rather be remembered for my failures than forgotten for the amazing things I never tried.

-B
now something has kept me here too long, and you can't leave me if I'm already gone

Technorati : fear

Tyrannical Chicken Nuggets

I think my chicken nuggets are talking to me. They are telling me to kill. I don't want to kill, I just want to taste the sweetness of the sour sauce spread across my chicken's nugget like a line of coke on Lindsay Lohan's mirror. Now they are teasing me. They laugh at me and spit on me and call me stupid and say I can't read good. I am now consumed by a holy war with my chicken nuggets, and they are emerging victorious. There will be no treaty. No surrender. No mercy. This year will mark the beginning of the end, the start of a tyrannical rule by force and deliciousness and unavoidable cholesterol, all accompanied by a vast selection of sauces to drown our misery. Damn you dirty nuggets, damn you all to hell.

I think I have too much time on hands.

-B
I never gave up trying, I did everything for you.

Technorati : lindsay lohan

God's Sense Of Humor

Dear God, Buddha, Allah, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Satan, Betty White, Eddie Vedder and whoever else may be responsible;

I would like to take this moment to thank you for this gift. I am not sure what I did to deserve this, as my ability to positively interact with others is very low, and I am quite sure it is not some nonsensical holiday that we celebrate for no reason other than a Macy's sale and a reason to eat a turkey. However, the fact that you have chosen to bestow this gift upon me may just be the first step on a new path towards enlightenment. I cannot say with certainty whether I shall tread these dangerous waters, and to be honest it seems kind of like a lost cause as I will inevitably stray from the path of the straight and narrow, have a threesome with two blond coeds while snorting coke off a copy of the bible, drive drunk and run over a squirrel, ultimately causing the Great Squirrel Rebellion of 2009, and shoot smack in a church, therefore disappointing you to the point of your regret you ever gave me such a gift. But I promise I will do it all with the best of intentions, as it is the thought that counts, right? Right?

-B
You got the weight of the world coming down like a mother's eye

Technorati : avril lavigne, girlfriend, lawsuit, rubinoos

Soul Doubt

Apparently it's not bad enough that the market is currently flooded (and always will be) with adult contemporary corporate cock-rock (Hinder, are you listening?), now we have to listen to artist get paid for telling us what products to use to make ourselves cool and hip and unique and just like everybody else. Proving that she is an entertainer and not an artist, Fergie has decided to allow corporate product placement be integrated into her songs. Somewhere, Tom Waits is angrily throwing his copy of Elephunk out the window. Now teens don't have to worry about wondering what brand of clothes to buy to maximize their skanky appearance; they have Fergie being paid to tell them to buy the provocative clothing line Candie's. This shit disgusts me. The sanctity of music is being tarnished and pissed on by these so-called "musicians" who do nothing but name drop FUBU and Pepsi and accept money to tell their fans they will only be cool if they wear Candie's pants and dress like a slut. Here's a little piece of advice for the Black Eyed Peas; boot that bitch to the curb. And to all of her fans, I give you this piece of wisdom; reject false icons.

-B
Tell me which deity you're praying to

Technorati : black eyed peas, candies, cockrock, fergie, hinder, sellout