Thursday, August 03, 2006

One Fierce Beer Coaster

This may seem quite the obscure comment to make, but I am willing to risk my reputation (assuming I have one at that it is positive in some manner) by stating this out loud, for all of you to hear; the Bloodhound Gang may in fact be the most important band around. I know, you have already started to question my intellectual authority on the subject of music, as well as my sanity, but I assure that I would not make a statement such as this without having the intellectual arsenal to back it up. Allow me to explain…no, there is too much, allow me to sum up. The Bloodhound Gang has managed to carve out their own little niche in the world of music, much like Primus and Pink Floyd, and I will now explain why.

Much like the great white shark swimming amongst the other oceanic creatures, there is really no competition. The Bloodhound Gang belong in that small group of rap-metal artist, but they’re not really an active part of it. None of its member have claimed to have fucked Britney Spears (at least not that I am aware of, but I could be wrong), they don’t seem to have a grudge against anyone (except New Jersey, but really, who can blame them), and they don’t take themselves nearly as seriously as the other bands in that genre. They all seem to have a grudge against their parents, or society, or something else that none of us give a shit about, but the Bloodhound Gang seem to go the other way. They even included a track consisting of Jimmy Pop talking to his mother about words that rhyme with “vagina”. I doubt you would get the same phone conversation from Fred Durst and his mother. He would probably just tell her to fuck off, and that he did it all for the cookies. Maybe he likes cookies, and he is really just misunderstood. Ever think of that, Britney?

Anyway, my point is this; where the other rap-metal bands failed[1], Bloodhound Gang has succeeded by being the outcast. They mock New Jersey, make fun of Frankie Goes to Hollywood with a crack smoking Pac Man, and showed us how a lap dance really is better when the stripper is crying. Instead of getting pissed off, they got funny. And I don’t know about you, but I would rather listen to funny rap-metal than listen to Fred Durst talk about how badass he is. They are the only band that puts out records strictly for the purpose of laughing at themselves, and they manage to make some good music while doing it, and this is a lesson many bands could learn from. They have fun whether you are laughing at them or with them. And to be honest, I like it that way. Imagine how much more listenable LB or ICP would be if they make good music and talked about boobies instead of who’s ass they think they can kick. Seriously guys, cheer up. Life can’t be all bad[2].

I hope you die

[1] And the thing they failed at was HAVING A CAREER.
[2] Unless your name is Fred Durst, in which case it is required by law that your life suck and you make millions of dollars bitching about it.

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