Saturday, October 07, 2006

Decisions Part 1

We are often left with choices that we neither want nor understand. These choices could be about anything really, and we as human beings tend to exaggerate the depth of a particular choice. We act as if this decision could determine the path of which our lives will from this point on tread. Now I am not naïve enough to think that every decision we make does not have its own ripple effect, because they do. All I am saying is that if we were to remove the emotion out of the decision making process, then that decision would be a hell of a lot easier to make. At that point it would boil down to simple mathematics, i.e. which of the choices has the greatest positives with the least negatives. We make choices everyday, every minute, without realizing it, much less taking the time to deconstruct the issue down to its lowest common denominator.

With that being said, I hate making decisions. Ask me where I want to go to lunch and I will almost always say Chipotle. This is not because Chipotle is somehow superior to all other restraints (although they do make some damn good burritos), but because I would rather just not make the decision. Apparently Bush has no problem being “The Decider”, but that is because in his eyes he can do no wrong and he’ll just blow up whoever questions him. I hear having God on your side helps, but there is no evidence to support that claim. I myself would rather leave those kinds of decisions to the people, but that’s not where this post is headed. My true intent for babbling on this topic is two-fold; one, I hate making decisions and I hate the fact that I have to. Two, because very recently a decision was presented to me that I cannot make for reasons which I will not specify here (but feel free to imagine any possible scenario).

When it comes to friends and family, the decisions get harder. The potential fallout of any choice made will always be far greater than you anticipated or even imagined when presented with that choice. We often think in terms of “I will cut this person out of my life and that will be it. I will never see them again and if I do I will be polite and say hi and walk away”. But we never do that, do we? This is because we convince ourselves that what we want to happen will always be the reality of the situation, and it never is.

Friendships are hard, and they never get easier. People change from when you first met them and sometimes your opinion of who they became is far different than their own. So, my question I am posting to you, and please feel free to comment, I want some communication, is this:
How many times, specifically, should you try and make a friendship work.

Now what I mean by this is that every time you and another end communication, for whatever reason, counts as an “instance”. How many “instances”, or periods of no contact followed by reconnection, should you go threw. What if you are the one responsible for the demise of your relationship with someone? Does that change the count? How about if they are to blame? And most importantly, what do you do when there is nobody at fault? No need to provide specific details on any given relationship or experience, just an opinion is all I ask.

You threw the bricks that built this wall

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